Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Faith and Fishing

To say that our lives lately have been chaotic could be an understatement. I'm not ready to share a lot of details, but trust me my prayer list for my myself, family, and friends is enough to make anyone weary. In the midst of it, I keep on with "one thing at a time" as Chris reminds me, and God helps me along the way. I seriously do not know how people live their life without the Lord. I can look back when I was making my own decisions, conclusions, and assumptions- I was anxious, unhappy, and unfulfilled! However, right now there are two things that I have to consistently keep in mind, because of God's grace that is not the way for me anymore.
                 1. Don't Worry
           2. Have Faith 

In my last ladies Bible study, we were given a piece of paper before hand that asked us to fill in the sentence: "I am weary because..." Someone must have known I would need the next three lines to fill in my "weariness". I took the time to ponder and had ranted in my head, then I just wanted to cry, and then I made a sincere list. (All while the sweet ladies around me were laughing and sharing about their lives- I just wasn't in that place that night.) I am weary because... I have 2/3 kids to tend to a day; cooking, cleaning; weary of praying for our house to sell; finances; trying to do good, pray for the right things, be a good friend, put others first. The opening sentence from our leader struck me and turned my attitude around "But what strength we have in Him!" After the meeting, I met with a friend over cheese fries and asked, "What is wrong with me? Why can't I just not worry, enjoy where God has placed me, and have faith not in myself but Him?" Her response, "Nothing is wrong with you but you simply just have to 'not worry'." So, I came to this definition for the phrase, Do Not Worry: Don't think about it, don't act on it. {Matthew 6:34 "Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."} What is happening today is where your attention should be. Planning for the next day is different than worrying about it- find that balanced ground that works best for you. There is enough "evil" for today! Why bring more troubles into the day by worrying about what is in the future.

Worry and faith go hand in hand. To me, the best scripture to memorize and run through your head at times when your faith is lacking "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding." Proverbs 3:5 Simply put, we will not always understand what may be happening around us or what God is asking of us. BUT  it's not our place to understand- we are called to trust... have faith. God must know by now that I'm just silly- I have friends tell me that often enough. I also get in these sarcastic moods when things just aren't going my way, so I mock the situation. For example the other day I woke up worrying about this and that, not having faith in anything but the cup of coffee I was pouring myself, when I started singing, "I just gotta have faith even though I have no faith. Faith is nowhere to be found. But I gotta find it and have it...!" Dallas starts laughing saying, "Mommy that's silly!" So he got his guitar and started singing along. That little jingle has gotten me through balancing the checkbook, paying bills, long days, tough conversations, and my own stubbornness.

One last thing to share- I know I brag on my husband a lot, but he is so often exactly what I need! I sent him this text a couple of weeks ago:
 I know "God is bigger"- I've seen it happen in my life before 
{in miraclous ways}- seems like forever ago. 
And still today in others' lives. 
But I'd really just like for Him to take control for once lately. 
Transparency is what that text is. It is so important to share your heart with your husband! It has done great things in mine and Chris' lives when we are just completely honest. If I had not been the day I sent that text, then most likely I would have festered to the point of resembling an angry firecracker when he walked through the door from work. His response:
We definitely need HIm to show up. 
I know it feels like everything is just on a non-stop course of confusion and chaos.
There is order somewhere, and God will get us through this. 

I can't leave you without sharing some pictures from our night of fishing last evening.

This was always mine and Chris' "spot" when we were dating. We would back
up his 4Runner to the water, about a quarter of a mile on red clay, just so 
we could sit on the tailgate with our feet in the water. 
I secretly dislike that the Nature Trail now starts here, so it can get crowded. 
However, we did find that 2 rambunctious kids can run off other fishers. 

Lillie-Mae is perhaps the happiest baby I have ever met when she is outside. 

 "Daddy, I think I caught something!" 
"Yep, you caught the bottom of the creek." 

Such a big boy. 

My little baby sitting on my baby bump. It's the sweetest thing when the baby 
kicks Lillie-Mae, she will look down and start whacking back at my belly. 

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