Without throwing any nurses or doctors under the bus for how my labor went with Dallas, let me say first that our culture is so BACKWARDS on how labor and delivery should be treated for a woman and child. I am not going to to throw a bunch of statistics in about the maternal death rate 100 years ago vs. today, the efficacy in which a hospital birth has improved/declined, or about the types of women who are having home births. All the studies can be done and all the people can read them, but it will not matter unless MOTHERS are honest about how their labor really went.
Was it all you expected? Did you expect anything?
Did you survive? Did it hurt?
Were you forced to do things you did not want to do?
Were you left questioning why something happened?
Did you feel guilty afterwards?
Have you anything positive to say about the event?
Have you even questioned anything that happened in the hospital room that
changed your life forever?
changed your life forever?
Some things that I have heard from mothers after they've had a child and the moments are fresh on their mind are excuses. "Well, this happened, because this might have happened, so the doctor decided that this should happen. But we have a healthy baby boy/girl and that's all that matters!" Why are we defending birth? I will agree that the health of a newborn child does matter. But at what cost? To me at the most extreme situation it would cost a mother her courage: the ability to do something that frightens someone. Birth can be scary- and after a bad birth experience (maybe having an unexpected c-section, being told your baby could die because of the cord around it's neck, having your baby sucked out because a machine says that it's heart rate is dropping) what mother is willing to say that having a child, a blessing, come into her life was in any way bad.
These are the pictures you won't see on Facebook, but they are real. Unedited- no making the newborn into a creamy white when they are really splotchy red from crying their lungs out. No lighting was edited- fluorescents are really the opposite of peaceful.
"Could you imagine taking a baby cub away from a Momma bear? Then why is it okay to take a human's child from her for unnecessary interventions immediately following birth?"
Vernix being rubbed off
Being suctioned- traveling through the birth canal naturally removes fluid.
See how he is naturally turning to the side with his mouth open.
Any guesses for what he is looking for? No, it's not a bottle, but that was
still his first form of nourishment. No colostrum or comfort from nursing.
Having footprints done. I did Lillie-Mae's quite some time after her birth,
when they were still cute and tiny.
Being weighed- why can it not wait?
Pretty sure if Dallas could talk, he would be saying, "Mommy!"
I don't know exactly how long he was away from me, but it was too long and unnecessary. Any assessment of baby can be done beside the mother. Unfortunately, hospitals are at a time of importance being placed more on liability rather than letting something so natural just take its course.
I think we are both thinking, "Finally!" I remember just talking to him like no one else was in the room. Telling him how beautiful his eyes were and how good it felt to hold him. Wanting so badly to unwrap him, but not knowing if I was allowed to. I think I snuck an arm out and was able to count five fingers on one hand before a nurse told me I really should keep him tucked tight.
To see the other side of what birth could be like, please read Lillie-Mae's home birth story.
I like to think that I learned a lot from the first time around.
Unfortunately, Dallas was my guinea pig. But I only think that
I am the one left with the scars of his birth's memories.