Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Nine Years

Nine years ago, I met my husband for the first time. I thought he was a new student and was introducing him to our classmates. I came to find out later that we had shared classes for the past five years. Guess that's a good example of cliques- I was in the band and he was a jock. We dated most of high school until I made the {stupid} decision of "breaking up" with him at the beginning of our senior year. I still have no reason why. We had made plans while dating to be married within seven years time, living in New York City. We would be well awarded graduates from the University of Georgia. Chris would be working as a graphic designer. I would do modeling on the side, because we really wouldn't need my money from all that he would bring in. The closest we came to planning for children was picking the name for a boy-Dallas and a girl- Kinley. 

I often get stuck on the "What if..." train. While I believe God knows my life from beginning to end, free will is mixed into the situation. Bad choices on my part can become God's best work! Why? Because God is good- all the time. Not just "God is good when I am good." But also "God is good when I am bad, wrong, hurtful..." 

Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

Some days I just wish that I could lead my life in a way that others only saw the good. But without also seeing the mistakes that I am mostly ashamed of, they wouldn't see God's faithfulness. His love! God's complete protection over my life. He has kept me here on Earth with an able {and willing} body to serve Him. "It's not about me, it's all about Him." 

Nine years ago I was "only 15" as my parents would so often remind me. Now at 24 years of age, I could look back and say "I wish I knew then what I know now..." But instead I will look back and thank God for all He has done for me despite myself! 

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